The truth about 'All Of Us Strangers'

Oh no not another gay movie, etc.

‘Pretending I’m on a more interesting line than the Waterloo & City line? It’s called acting, dear, look it up.’ (Photo: Searchlight Pictures)

One of the questions I’ve been most commonly asked over the last three months: ‘Have you seen All Of Us Strangers?’ This is what happens when a piece of queer art crosses the floor to the mainstream – especially when it features big names with brand recognition outside the various social and cultural bubbles the LGBTQ+ crew lurk within – and it’s not just straight people who ask it. Much like I was asked if I was going to see A Little Life in the West End (no, it was four hours long, are you insane) or if I’d been to a chemsex party (no, who on Earth would want to see my rice pudding body hoofing crystal meth in go-go shorts and a harness) – we search for common ground in the bigger queer cultural highlights. So starved are we, perhaps, of genuine crossover hits that we feel almost obliged to patronise them to show that queer stories are worth investing in.

Anyway, the answer was always no, I hadn’t seen All Of Us Strangers. I resisted it, in a way. Not because I have anything against it, but once a creative project starts to become talked about too much – there’s no set tipping point, I’m unaware of it until we reach it – I back away from it a little. Not to be chic, or out of snobbery, but because I don’t trust my own reactions not to be clouded by whatever I’ve read. (I still haven’t seen Barbie and probably won’t now.) I gamely watched the ceaseless campaigning by All Of Us Strangers’ charismatic leads Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal, and enjoyed their chemistry, but had no desire to see it play out in the film which, tbh, sounded a bit miserable. I have to be in a very specific mood to watch something miserable at the cinema. Again, I can’t define that mood; I only know it when I’m in it.

Yet several – three – people have asked if I’d write about All of Us Strangers in my Ejector Seat column, where I analyse a TV pilot and decide whether to continue with the series. Obviously, All Of Us Strangers isn’t a TV show, it’s a movie, so perhaps I must work harder on the clarity of my format, but now I have seen it, with its appearance on Disney + imminent (this was announced while I was actually in the cinema, watching it, fml), I thought maybe it’s worth doing a one-off. If you’ve not seen the film, this review will contain mild spoilers but nothing specific and nothing about the ending. Let’s start.

So, All Of Us Strangers, which you resisted for so long in an attempt to be cool or whatever. Why see it now?

Honestly, I wanted to see Zone of Interest but a mix-up (my stupidity) meant I ended up in an over-55s screening of All Of Us Strangers, which had subtitles (very distracting and often WRONG) and they left the house lights on. Nightmare.

Are you over 55? Did I miss a memo?

No, I’m not. I was allowed to go in but I didn't get the free cup of tea and slice of cake my fellow cinemagoers were offered.

My condolences. So, All Of Us Strangers. What’s the deal?