30 Comments
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Nicola Blackwell's avatar

Beautiful. You so capture that feeling of a yearning for a specific connection but the recipient isn't there anymore: "my fingertips lit up with anticipation, but it had nowhere to go, discharging in the air like static electricity." I think we only really understand exactly the precious role a loved one played in our life when they are gone. ❤️

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Justin Myers's avatar

Sadly, I think you're right. Thanks for reading.

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Emma's avatar

It’s a year since I lost my mum. Thank you for putting the feelings into words. Your friend sounds wonderful. Take care

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Justin Myers's avatar

She really was. Sorry about your mum. Hope things feel brighter for you soon.

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Emma Jones's avatar

I love this. It resonates so much & is so moving & also funny. My oldest daughter died of cancer 5 years ago, aged 18; I'm sharing this with some of her dearest friend. Thank you ❤️

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Justin Myers's avatar

Thank you for reading. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. Hope you and your family are making your way through it as best you can.

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Ambermoggie's avatar

Hugs Justin. Our loved ones are never lost while we think of them, love them and talk about them. It’s a different kind of presence but you haven’t lost the essence of her or your love for her.

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Justin Myers's avatar

Yes, that's very true. Thank you for reading.

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Total Rewrite's avatar

How beautifully you capture the very essence of grief - the awful finality of death. I've always believed that friendships are the great unsung love stories of our lives. I've lost a lot of family in the last 5 years - some incredibly complicated griefs due to my incredibly complicated family - but not yet a close friend. I'm so sorry for your loss - and how the world is more grey without your friend in it. She sounds amazing. Trite as this maybe sounds, the pain is a mark of how much love was in that relationship. That is gold. No one can ever take those memories away.

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Justin Myers's avatar

Oh, absolutely. Thank you for reading.

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Beverly Vice's avatar

Tears

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Louise Loughlin's avatar

This week is one of those weeks for me too and your second-to-last paragraph just nails it - thank you for putting it into words 💚

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Justin Myers's avatar

Ah, I'm sorry. Thanks for reading.

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Mark Kureishy's avatar

Lovely, Justin.

Your own personal grief aside, and I mean no intention in demeaning or diminishing it, I am sorry to hear your wit and humour has dissipated with the passing of your friend. And I shall miss that…

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Justin Myers's avatar

Thanks for reading. And the wit and humour are long gone! I used to be much, MUCH funnier than I am now haha.

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lucy sweet's avatar

Coming up to 2 years now in a world without my mum. 0/10 would not recommend. (I do the photo thing, too). Lots of love x

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Justin Myers's avatar

My condolences. The photo thing is so addictive and ultimately pointless but phones are very persuasive. x

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Molly Sayers's avatar

She sounds like an amazing friend

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Justin Myers's avatar

She really was. Thanks for reading.

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Bec's avatar

Nick Cave's Red Hand File this week discusses his grief. It is beautiful and uplifting.

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Justin Myers's avatar

Cheers. I'll try have a look sometime – maybe not this week!

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Bec's avatar

Take care xx

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Sarah's avatar

One year this week. Some of us who loved her are meeting up on Friday along with some who never got the chance to meet her. They know her only through us, but they know how important she was.

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Justin Myers's avatar

That's lovely you get not only to remember her but share what she meant to you with people who didn't know her personally.

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David Alexander-Watts's avatar

It's 50 years ago this month since I lost my mother. I was nine. You can imagine how much I've mourned her, and I still do. I have always regarded my mourning as a testament to my love for her, I know she loved me. This also keeps her present in my life, as your late friend is still in yours. It hurts because it matters but it also means they are not forgotten. Keeping her in your life is what you can do, remember her positively and continue to make use of that relationship. Gain strength from these feelings, try not to let them overwhelm you, at least not all the time.

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Justin Myers's avatar

Wise words. Thanks for reading.

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Mariska Burger's avatar

Thank you very much for this.

I am coming up for 8 year anniversary end of August.

Just another day in paradise.

You in heaven, me on earth.

It’s complicated.

If not for the grace of God.

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Justin Myers's avatar

Thanks for reading.

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Anne Porcheron's avatar

My loss is still so raw and recent but already I see the truth in this and thank you for writing it

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Justin Myers's avatar

Am sorry to hear that. Thank you reading

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