42 Comments
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New_Leaf's avatar

This was fun to read

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Lucy Handley's avatar

I’ve always wondered what ‘you look very summery’ means, having received that ‘compliment’ from men a few times. Now I know! Thank you. But - how to respond to such comments?!

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Justin Myers's avatar

Either a withering stare or: "Yes, it's amazing, I can just wear ANYTHING and still look great – and it's great that you've found something that matches your personality so well!"

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Anita's avatar

There’s a variation of ‘I could never wear that’ along the lines of ‘It’s ok for YOU’.

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Justin Myers's avatar

Hahaha YES

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Total Rewrite's avatar

‘you look like someone who rolled round a Sue Ryder shop covered in golden syrup.’ Genius.

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Justin Myers's avatar

haha thank you

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Jessica McLellan's avatar

I wore a red and white gingham top on a boozy river boat thing. By the end of it I was also wearing the table cloths (as chaps) and napkins (hat, flower ornament). As you said, haunted by it for life.

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Justin Myers's avatar

Hahaha

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Catherine Cargill's avatar

Some of these give ‘plain downright unequivocally deliberately insulting and meaning to hurt’ a sort of rustic charm, by contrast.

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Justin Myers's avatar

Hahaha

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Claire Collis's avatar

This is brilliant! Not enough eulogies begin with ooh la la.

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Justin Myers's avatar

Hahaha RIGHT?

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Catriona Innes's avatar

Three things:

1. Someone once looked me up and down for ages, looking for something to say and said "you have such nice... thumbs"

2. This same person said "you look so much like that X Factor winner." I was flattered until I realised she meant JAMES ARTHUR.

3. My friend once thought she was dressed as a sexy dalmation and her crush said, "I love your costume! It's so cool you're going as a Christmas cow."

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Justin Myers's avatar

Thumbs?! So many compliments would be better as dumb little thoughts that spark briefly and then evaporate. Some people can’t help themselves, though, like a toddler pointing in wonder at a plane flying overhead.

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El's avatar

So many times I went into work for a day shift and got asked if it was a busy night... I'm just pale!

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Justin Myers's avatar

Hahaha OMG! The neck of them!

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Beverly Button's avatar

Your translations are spot on!

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Justin Myers's avatar

Gained from bitter experience

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Benjamin Dreyer's avatar

That was super fun, Justin. Thank you!

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Justin Myers's avatar

Thank you!

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Becca's avatar

"I've always loved that dress."

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Justin Myers's avatar

Haha oof!

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Therese's avatar

This is brilliant. "You look well" = instant panic

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Justin Myers's avatar

Such a loaded statement!

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Gráinne Maguire's avatar

If my Mam calls anyone’s outfit “a bit quirky” she thinks they’ve escaped from a mental health facility.

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Justin Myers's avatar

Hahaha!

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Gail Strauss's avatar

A colleague once looked me up and down and said “You looked nice yesterday.” That was 15 years ago. Still rankles 😂

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Catherine Cargill's avatar

I should think it bloody does rankle. Hope this frightful person is no longer a colleague.

(Also 15 years ago, -ish, a pub/hotel-owner I knew introduced me to someone he was talking to in the garden with ‘this is Dr Cargill. She had a very intelligent father’.)

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Gail Strauss's avatar

I have no words 🤦‍♀️

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Justin Myers's avatar

!!!!

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Justin Myers's avatar

OMG what a horror!!

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Jo Elvin's avatar

I have had almost of all these, lol. x

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Justin Myers's avatar

A sign you must be doing something right!

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