26 Comments

Many excellent points, eloquently put. Why can’t they all be as seamless as the Uniqlo system (which they also use at Decathalon - another monolith of low-cost convenience). Jury’s out on this one, I think the pros and cons are equal measure. Looking forward to the next one!

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Thank you!

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Here's the thing... recently at Gatwick Airport, there were like 20 self check in machines and on the other side 7 or so manned counters. I queued to get the real person to assist me with my boarding passes and bag drops. When asked why I didn't use the self-check-in state of the art machine I said I'd rather you guys kept your jobs and when our kids grow up I'd like them to have a job too. The lady from British Airways dropped this one one me: "I never buy anything online for the same reason." It was my best check in experience ever! I tend to stand in line whenever I go to a super market to get a cashier to scan my items from my trolley.

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Often there’s no option for a manned desk or till, I do sometimes think the race to embrace automation has gone too fast. Sick of the M&S self-checkout, I went to a proper cashier the other week and we had a great chat and it was nice to actually talk to someone. (I work from home so my daily interactions are limited to my partner and saying sorry for getting in people’s way.)

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See that’s where we’re wrong because there’s always an option. Go to another store. One that values you as a customer and one that values the people working there. I stopped going to M&S as well. No cashier and I’m a lost customer. There’s nothing like it having a bit of convo with the person scanning and typing in your items. That exchange is worth so much.

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Here in the US, Aldi has replaced all but one regular cashier with self checkouts. The one cashier can see all of the register screens, so if something goes wrong you have to interrupt the cashier for her to pull up your screen to fix it. The other day half the self checkouts were closed, which really defeats the purpose. Maybe they realized it’s a bit much for one cashier to be in charge of 6 registers?

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A Lidl near me is now all self-checkouts and one person running between all ten of them and it makes me feel like I’ve been dropped into the middle of some kind of terrifying medieval torture event. I now refuse to go.

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Good! That you refuse to go that is. Lidl should be avoided anyways...

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One fun self-service hack - I was scanning a bunch of stuff recently, and was surprised to see how cheap the shop was. It turned out I'd got a pear's sticker stuck on my glove, so I was just scanning 'pear' over and over

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Richard Madeley likes this

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This is such important writing. The Boots ones have ISSUES.

I also hate that (in general) you only get a teeny tiny space to put all your shopping and have to nervously balance your tins of sweetcorn on top of your cereal box.

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Have you seen the ones in smaller Sainsbury’s which have a bagging area no bigger than a sheet of A4?! It’s like grocery Jenga; they really stress me out.

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they really are taking the piss tbqph - also a Nectar card will never be as good as a Clubcard. Also I can't prove this across the entire realm, but their touch-screens are worse.

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In days when I have been particularly low on funds, I have really appreciated the self-checkout. Being able to buy £5 of groceries with change scrounged from under the couch cushions without expecting the cashier to count penny pieces gave back a little dignity.

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The cameras are the worst, my local Waitrose & Co-op (I go in each as little as possible) have TERRIBLE lighting. I really don’t need to see my harried face lit by fluorescent. Re the sequinned Auntie in the Blind Date review, is this a teaser for your dark novels? Absolutely would read.

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I don’t know what it is, but I always look amazing* in those wonky iPads they have elevated above the self- checkouts. Don’t know why. Maybe it’s because they’re observing me from so high up it fools me into thinking there’s a jawline.

*– citation needed.

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I love self-scan (we've been doing that since it was introduced at our Big Sainsbury's - in the 90s?) but I hate self-checkout, it always makes me feel like a proper idiot old person. The pursed lips and shaken head of the troubleshooting assistant shame me deeply.

Really enjoyed your thing about crushes. I had to look up Jordan Knight though. I never learned the names of the NKOtB due to lack of interest. (This sort of thing is very aging, the five years or whatever it is that I'm older than you by is most significant for the time when you were a teenager and I was in my 20s, I guess.)

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I am a self-confessed self-scan stan – I love it, breezing about in the big Sainsbury’s. Bit too easy to get carried away and spend £££ though which is why I carry the bags for life instead of getting a trolley – once they’re on the verge of being too heavy, I’m done.

Thanks for reading the crushes piece. I assure you my interest in NKOTB ran only to Mr Knight. Their music and the other members meant nothing to me. Nothing! (Good point re being in teens vs twenties. Makes all those relationships between the girls in my year at school and the Peugeot-driving 21-year-old manboys seem even more icky.)

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Your description of the bagging area is a triumph and also I am a massive fan of the Uniqlo hole (they’re like that in Decathlon too, except you have to try and cram a tennis racket and a canoe in them). I give this five beeps

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Haha thank you! Decathlon – a shop I would only ever find myself in if sheltering from a hailstorm. Of lava.

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Oh I dunno Justin. I usually agree with you whole heartedly, but self checkouts are one of my pet hates (alongside acoustic covers and leaf blowers...)

https://open.substack.com/pub/sharonjoslyn/p/love-hate-and-access-grey-areas?r=7tva4&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

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But I hate them too! Your post was an interesting read, cheers.

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The head of Morrisons recently announced that they had overdone it on the self check outs, going to be interesting if there's a slight shift back to person-centric tills. Amazon's walk out shopping stores have been a total floptina.

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Morrisons ones are by far the most volatile of the bunch. I avoid them at all costs. They’re also painfully slow. The Amazon checkout-free shops freak me out and make my buy less for some reason.

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Amazon have palm-reading tech ready for people to scan their hands to pay,trouble is every time in the last 5 years that they trial it everyone's reaction is sheer disgust.

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Don’t know what it is but I really don’t vibe with buying bread and milk from Amazon. Or raw meat. Just creeps me out.

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