Conservatives just won in Germany! People are seeing the goodness of this philosophy. We are closing boarders, keeping men out of girls sports and getting the slackers out of our bloated government’s. We are protecting lawful people and prosecuting criminals! We are Americans, not wimpy whiners who just throw money at every problem. We expect people to work, if they are capable, and contribute to help those who unfortunately not capable. We care for the sick, the poor and those who need a helping hand. We love our children and will send them to college if they have the intellect to succeed. We expect to pay for our college education and not dictate that those who chose not to go to collage will have to pay for us! We live our country and honor our flag and those who fought to keep it free. We recognize we are not perfect and that we do not have all the answers and we are willing to make mistakes. We expect to help other countries, sacrifice some of our brave service personnel in their defense but we will no longer be taken advantage of by our allies. We expect our government to protect all our citizens and we expect our government employees to deliver a fair day’s work for a fair wage and benefits. It is pretty simple, fairness!
Loved this. Will NEVER go back to the office unless indispensable to manage a team of minions, and even then would flaunt my overlord wfh privileges by being there as little as possible. If you wfh and feel lonely either a) get a dog b) join a yoga studio. Both guarantee better health and company.
Jokes aside, the last company I worked at had a beautiful atrium with a glass ceiling and lush plants. But inside, the offices were partitioned into cubicles. The lighting overhead was neon and there were no windows. When you were working you never knew if it was day or night. I'm sure this was deliberate to make us work longer hours...
I read the bullet point during the crescendo of Palladio - cheesy (thanks Spotify!) but may I recommend it as a perfect aural accompaniment to the ever escalating list of fkn awful nonsense to be endured whilst in the office for being in the office’s sake…
Justin, are you sure you have been WFH for over a decade? Because all the points you've made about the horrors of the office are spot on!!! And yes, I too elevated a turd to hunk because it was that dire... Anyway, I hope you're up for the position of leader of the free workers from home should the need arise. Although I hope this farce of returning to the office dies soon (sorry but saving Pret is not my responsibility) and we can continue living in peace and typing angrily from our home desks.
I would add to the list the senior colleague who backstabs you one day at work leaving you blindsided and then has the audacity to ask How’s your weekend on Monday expecting you to listen to them go on for 15 minutes about their fucking camping trip. No thankyou.
Super read. I can't remember the last time I was in a fixed corporate office space. I think I would come out in a rash. For me, they are clinical, dishonest places stinking of corporate compliance and brown nosing.
My bias is big and heavy.
But, I am a Remote Worker that does not like WFH. I prefer a small coworking space or cafe...my home is for home stuff. Mainly.
I also wrote about the biased media coverage in favour of RTO in urban areas
As much as I like coworking spaces, they’re prohibitively expensive for me, and I love working in cafes but feel too guilty about taking up a valuable seat to make it a regular thing.
Haha! That list! The person who always has a cold is too real. Coming in to work like some kind of martyr, thinking the place can’t run properly if they’re off sick.
I work in an area related to employment, and we've found especially FLINT (female, lesbian, intersex, non-binary and trans) don't want to go back into the office for a couple of reasons:
1. The majority of housework/home-keeping/child-rearing still falls on this segment and working from home allows much greater flexibility and additional time to do these things
2. Going back into the office for most means needing to think about your appearance again because people will see more of you than your head and shoulders, and suddenly that burden of being judged ALL THE TIME feels too exhausting to contemplate.
Personally I've become more aware of how FLINT are judged constantly by others, spoken over, snidely dismissed because of how they present in person. Working from home and Zoom means that people often 'raise their hands' on calls and get to speak without people speaking over them. I've been more effective, productive and confident because my brain isn't constantly second guessing myself into societal adjustments.
As a woman I can confirm that the onset of the pandemic and moving all events and meetings online gave me a massive boost of confidence joining events as a moderator or speaker. I'm an introvert and get very anxious about public speaking as I'm very self-conscious and can't relax in front of an audience but removing all that and speaking to a screen (where I probably had a bigger audience than I would had in person) was such a life-changer. I don't think current office practices or the way we tend to think of who are the most valuable employees (which often are the loudests or more extroverted) encourage in any way introverts or people who suffer from social anxiety to be their best and reach their potential as they always get pushed aside.
That’s so interesting and such a good point. That ceaseless pressure to be this version of yourself that a variety of colleagues – not always friendly – will find palatable.
If you are an efficient worker (like myself, not to toot my own horn here), then WFH is amazing. I start earlier because I am a morning person. I don't have to stand outside the office waiting till the 9am crew trickle in to open the doors. I can start my work and the laundry load, undo the dishes and at lunch? Actually go for a walk somewhere and log those 10K steps the doctor told me I need if I don't want to die by 40. I go into the office once a week to meet with colleagues for meetings and even then, by 4pm, I've checked out. I'm not there. I'm flipping between tabs and doing personal admin.
Nearly everything you had on your list, I've experienced — but the ones that popped up the most...
- the person who always has a cold (go see a doctor and throw your TISSUES IN THE BIN).
- the bipolar air-conditioning (which I'm almost positive is making the person with the cold, more sick)
-the racist/homophobe — I once had a colleague who was very, so deeply catholic and I worked in a office of women. And he, at least once a week, started a argument about feminism/women/ and at one point, brought up sexual promiscuity.
- the toilets — we had an incident known as "shit-gate" in the Women's bathroom.
- wonky chairs!!! I have been tossed out of my chair when I leaned too far back I fell right out of it.
In every office I’ve worked in, there’s been a shit-gate in the women’s loos! Maybe it’s more scandalous because we don’t imagine women being so feral. (Men’s toilets in offices are a permanent war zone.)
Brilliant! I ain’t going back.
Conservatives just won in Germany! People are seeing the goodness of this philosophy. We are closing boarders, keeping men out of girls sports and getting the slackers out of our bloated government’s. We are protecting lawful people and prosecuting criminals! We are Americans, not wimpy whiners who just throw money at every problem. We expect people to work, if they are capable, and contribute to help those who unfortunately not capable. We care for the sick, the poor and those who need a helping hand. We love our children and will send them to college if they have the intellect to succeed. We expect to pay for our college education and not dictate that those who chose not to go to collage will have to pay for us! We live our country and honor our flag and those who fought to keep it free. We recognize we are not perfect and that we do not have all the answers and we are willing to make mistakes. We expect to help other countries, sacrifice some of our brave service personnel in their defense but we will no longer be taken advantage of by our allies. We expect our government to protect all our citizens and we expect our government employees to deliver a fair day’s work for a fair wage and benefits. It is pretty simple, fairness!
The fact is that The Hague would be at a loss for words in most men’s washrooms - the horror, the humanity!!!!! 🤣
Haha truly horrible!
Loved this. Will NEVER go back to the office unless indispensable to manage a team of minions, and even then would flaunt my overlord wfh privileges by being there as little as possible. If you wfh and feel lonely either a) get a dog b) join a yoga studio. Both guarantee better health and company.
Thanks for reading!
Jokes aside, the last company I worked at had a beautiful atrium with a glass ceiling and lush plants. But inside, the offices were partitioned into cubicles. The lighting overhead was neon and there were no windows. When you were working you never knew if it was day or night. I'm sure this was deliberate to make us work longer hours...
Ugh horrible.
Somebody actually said to me “don’t you miss the water cooler moments?”.
I miss the office job I used to hate so much. God I miss it.
Even though I dislike full time WFH this article really made me laugh. So many things spot on from past workplaces over the years.
I read the bullet point during the crescendo of Palladio - cheesy (thanks Spotify!) but may I recommend it as a perfect aural accompaniment to the ever escalating list of fkn awful nonsense to be endured whilst in the office for being in the office’s sake…
Justin, are you sure you have been WFH for over a decade? Because all the points you've made about the horrors of the office are spot on!!! And yes, I too elevated a turd to hunk because it was that dire... Anyway, I hope you're up for the position of leader of the free workers from home should the need arise. Although I hope this farce of returning to the office dies soon (sorry but saving Pret is not my responsibility) and we can continue living in peace and typing angrily from our home desks.
Haha I have done the odd day in an office over the years but it has been a long time – some things are just a constant! Thank you for reading!
You got every single thing right :)
I would add to the list the senior colleague who backstabs you one day at work leaving you blindsided and then has the audacity to ask How’s your weekend on Monday expecting you to listen to them go on for 15 minutes about their fucking camping trip. No thankyou.
Yes! As if the previous week was a fever dream and you haven’t spent all weekend tying yourself up in knots of anxiety!
Super read. I can't remember the last time I was in a fixed corporate office space. I think I would come out in a rash. For me, they are clinical, dishonest places stinking of corporate compliance and brown nosing.
My bias is big and heavy.
But, I am a Remote Worker that does not like WFH. I prefer a small coworking space or cafe...my home is for home stuff. Mainly.
I also wrote about the biased media coverage in favour of RTO in urban areas
https://open.substack.com/pub/digitalnomadstories/p/why-the-biased-media-rhetoric-against?r=q3ksf&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
I will be post-edit to add a link to this piece, ya legend ya!
As much as I like coworking spaces, they’re prohibitively expensive for me, and I love working in cafes but feel too guilty about taking up a valuable seat to make it a regular thing.
Thanks for reading!
Surely having employees who don't take a whole day off when they have to wait in for the plumber is a Good Thing?
Every single word of this. I am so much happier AND more productive wfh, and my work life balance is the best it’s ever been.
Haha! That list! The person who always has a cold is too real. Coming in to work like some kind of martyr, thinking the place can’t run properly if they’re off sick.
I'm running a work event today and someone's cancelled because they have a cold and didn't want to spread germs. Wish more people understood this.
I work in an area related to employment, and we've found especially FLINT (female, lesbian, intersex, non-binary and trans) don't want to go back into the office for a couple of reasons:
1. The majority of housework/home-keeping/child-rearing still falls on this segment and working from home allows much greater flexibility and additional time to do these things
2. Going back into the office for most means needing to think about your appearance again because people will see more of you than your head and shoulders, and suddenly that burden of being judged ALL THE TIME feels too exhausting to contemplate.
Personally I've become more aware of how FLINT are judged constantly by others, spoken over, snidely dismissed because of how they present in person. Working from home and Zoom means that people often 'raise their hands' on calls and get to speak without people speaking over them. I've been more effective, productive and confident because my brain isn't constantly second guessing myself into societal adjustments.
As a woman I can confirm that the onset of the pandemic and moving all events and meetings online gave me a massive boost of confidence joining events as a moderator or speaker. I'm an introvert and get very anxious about public speaking as I'm very self-conscious and can't relax in front of an audience but removing all that and speaking to a screen (where I probably had a bigger audience than I would had in person) was such a life-changer. I don't think current office practices or the way we tend to think of who are the most valuable employees (which often are the loudests or more extroverted) encourage in any way introverts or people who suffer from social anxiety to be their best and reach their potential as they always get pushed aside.
very good point ...
That’s so interesting and such a good point. That ceaseless pressure to be this version of yourself that a variety of colleagues – not always friendly – will find palatable.
If you are an efficient worker (like myself, not to toot my own horn here), then WFH is amazing. I start earlier because I am a morning person. I don't have to stand outside the office waiting till the 9am crew trickle in to open the doors. I can start my work and the laundry load, undo the dishes and at lunch? Actually go for a walk somewhere and log those 10K steps the doctor told me I need if I don't want to die by 40. I go into the office once a week to meet with colleagues for meetings and even then, by 4pm, I've checked out. I'm not there. I'm flipping between tabs and doing personal admin.
Nearly everything you had on your list, I've experienced — but the ones that popped up the most...
- the person who always has a cold (go see a doctor and throw your TISSUES IN THE BIN).
- the bipolar air-conditioning (which I'm almost positive is making the person with the cold, more sick)
-the racist/homophobe — I once had a colleague who was very, so deeply catholic and I worked in a office of women. And he, at least once a week, started a argument about feminism/women/ and at one point, brought up sexual promiscuity.
- the toilets — we had an incident known as "shit-gate" in the Women's bathroom.
- wonky chairs!!! I have been tossed out of my chair when I leaned too far back I fell right out of it.
In every office I’ve worked in, there’s been a shit-gate in the women’s loos! Maybe it’s more scandalous because we don’t imagine women being so feral. (Men’s toilets in offices are a permanent war zone.)